I Miss Him
by Navy Babe
Summary: After Harm's death, Mac moves on with the help of their daughter. But is everything as it appears? Yes, Navy Babe is back!
1. Default Chapter

I Miss Him  
  
Author's Notes: Okay I'm not sure where this story is going to lead. I was kinda depressed when I wrote it, as you can tell from the subject matter. But I'm planning on making things right in the end! Please review, I live off of them! Also just a note, I don't like the title very much, so I might change it during the course of the story. If I do, I'll be sure to tell you!  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own JAG and its characters. I am just a poor eighth grader, trying to pass Geometry *curses geometry * Please do not sue, you will not get anymore than pocket lint.  
  
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It's the cliched cold, windy, dreary day. Fits my mood perfectly. I can't believe that he's really gone, that my husband isn't coming home. There's a gust of wind that blows my hair into my face, but I don't notice . . .I don't care.  
  
Bud and Harriet are standing next to me, along with little AJ and Jimmy. They couldn't find a sitter today, so they brought them along. AJ stands stoically next to his father, and Harriet's holding Jimmy, tears streaming down her face. I haven't cried yet, I think I'm still in shock. Trish and Frank are standing on my right side, the Admiral on my left. The Admiral and Frank are standing tall, just like Bud, but if you looked into any of their eyes, you could see the despair that is consuming me.  
  
I try to listen to Chaplain Turner, but it's not working. All I can think about are those piercing blue green eyes, the handsome features, and the closing arguments that could even bring a heartless person to their knees. I don't know how I'm going to go on. My hands stray to my stomach, wishing that he could be around for our little one's birth.  
  
Sturgis gets up to speak, and begins talking about his times at the Academy with Harm. The anecdotes make everyone in attendance chuckle, reminding them of the man that he was. Everyone except for me, all I want to do is scream. 'MY HUSBAND IS DEAD AND YOU'RE LAUGHING?' That's what I want to say, but I know that I can't, that this is how Harm would have wanted it. Remembering the good times, not dwelling on . . .this.  
  
Sturgis looks at me, beckoning me to come up and talk about him. Everybody has been trying to get me to open up, and I'm tired of it. I shake my head no, and he nods, stepping down, and going back to his seat. Trish reaches over and squeezes my hand, and I look over, trying to smile, offer some comfort, but it just won't work. She seems to understand.  
  
I'll never forget the moment it happened. I was going about the apartment getting ready for work, when I suddenly felt a strange ache in my chest. It was like nothing I had ever felt before, like someone was stabbing me in the heart. I thought nothing of it; it was probably just heartburn from the Mexican I had had the other night. I went into the office, and everybody was looking at me strangely. Coates ran up to me, and she looked like she had been crying. "The Admiral would like to see you Colonel." She whispered and then ran off in the general direction of the ladies room.  
  
I knew something was wrong, and that the ache I had felt wasn't heartburn, it meant that something had happened to Harm. I don't remember the Admiral's exact words, just the hollowness that I suddenly felt. I still feel it.  
  
Those damned planes fly overhead, the ones that took him from me. I don't know all the details, and I probably never will. All I know is that he was flying a mission, and that most of it was classified. Something went wrong, and the plane and its pilot's didn't come back.  
  
They're starting the salute. With every shot I can feel my walls crumbling . . .Damn it! I don't want to feel, if I can feel it will mean that this is real, that Harm won't be coming home. I don't WANT to accept that! I CAN'T! He's Harm, Chole said once that he was invincible, and I so desperately want to believe that right now!  
  
I can't take it anymore. My legs turn to rubber, and I collapse, sobbing. He's gone, he's really and truly gone.  
  
Author's Notes: I have the next few chapters written up and ready to go, and when I post them is up to you! Please review, and tell me what you thought. I know that people don't like when author's kill off characters, but like I said before, I'm gonna make it okay! A HUGE thanks to Bekki for betaing this for me! 


	2. The Mystery Man

I Miss Him Chapter 2  
  
Author's Notes: Okay, I've been trying to figure out what the timeline for this story is, and I'm still not clear on it. I'm going to say that Harm and Mac got married in or around season 7, so this would make it maybe about . . . 2007? I don't know . . .But Mattie and Catherine, and pretty much everything in season nine, and season eight for that matter doesn't exist. Like I said I'm still not sure, but I hope that this gives you a little something to go on. I just realized that you probably don't care, but that's okay!  
  
Five years after chapter one . . .  
  
Mac walked into the loft, calling out for her daughter. "Leigh? I'm home!" Immediately she saw a small brown haired girl bounding out of the bedroom, and towards her mother's arms.  
  
"Mommy!" The four and a half-year-old cried. "I had so much fun today Mommy! Maggie took me to the zoo, and then to the playground, and then we got ice cream!" The little girl squealed. Mac smiled and turned to the younger woman who was in charge of her daughter for the day.  
  
"Thanks for watching her Maggie, I really appreciate it." Mac said.  
  
Maggie shook her head. "No problem Mac. I love Leigh." She said, ruffling the little girl's hair. "I'll see you on Monday!" She said, grabbing her coat. "Bye!" She waved to the two Rabb girls, and left.  
  
"So how was your day Mommy?" The little girl asked innocently. Mac smiled, and sat down on the couch, gathering her daughter into her arms. Her little girl, Leigh Harmony Rabb was born about six months after Harm's death. It was a hard time for Mac, but her friends helped her through it, and her baby girl helped her through the roughest of times.  
  
"It was okay sweetheart. I beat your Uncle Sturgis in court!" She said smiling. Leigh laughed, and Mac felt an ache deep inside her chest. She sounded like Harm. That was the toughest part about raising her little girl, was that in almost everything she did and said, Mac could see her father. "I'm going to go change okay sweetheart?"  
  
"Sure Mommy!" Leigh bobbed her head up and down, and turned on the TV. Mac laughed, and went back into her bedroom. She continued to live in Harm's apartment, not wanting to leave behind all the memories she had there. Before Harm left on his last mission, he had started building on an extra room, so that they wouldn't have to find another house once the baby was born. After he passed, Sturgis, the Admiral, and Bud had helped her finish it.  
  
Walking out of the bedroom, now in civvies, Mac smiled when she saw her baby perched on the windowsill. "Look Mommy, it's snowing!" She exclaimed, pointing to the flurries of white outside the window.  
  
Mac laughed as she came and joined her daughter on the windowsill. She looked down and saw a car parked right outside her garage. She could see a figure inside, but couldn't make out who it was. Suddenly the figure looked away, and started the car. A chill went down Mac's spine, she knew that she had seen that car before. It drove off into the night, and Mac breathed a sigh of relief. "C'mon honey, let's go get some dinner." She said, scooping her daughter up.  
  
Outside, a few moments earlier . . .  
  
He stared up at the familiar window, watching the beautiful woman and her daughter. He wanted so badly to go up and talk to them, but knew that it wasn't the right time. He knew that if he did, Sarah Mackenzie's life would be torn apart once more, and he wasn't sure if he could forgive himself for doing that. He would approach them, but only when the time was right.  
  
A few days later . . .  
  
Mac was taking a run through Rock Creek Park, as was her daily routine. She took a deep breath of the crisp morning air, when she saw a figure out of the corner of her eye. He was just sitting on a bench, and it seemed like he was watching her. She shook the feeling off and continued to run.  
  
A few moments later, she heard footsteps behind her. Determined not to look back, she picked up the pace a little, eager to get home. The footsteps seemed to die off, and Mac breathed a sigh of relief. She continued on her run.  
  
He knew that she would hear him, and he risked it anyway. If only she knew how much he wanted her, how much he needed her. But the time still wasn't right, but he could feel that it was getting closer.  
  
At JAG that same day . . .  
  
Mac was in her office, trying to figure out why she couldn't focus. She knew that it had something to do with the man that she had seen the previous night, and the man who she had heard in the park, but she couldn't figure out what it was about those men. There was something so familiar about them.  
  
Her train of thought was interrupted by a knock on the door. "Enter." She called out, still trying to pull her head out of the clouds.  
  
"Ma'am?" Harriet peeked her head inside the dimly lit office. Mac smiled and waved her in. She came in and took a seat. "Ma'am I was just wondering if you and Leigh would like to come over for dinner tomorrow night?" Harriet asked sweetly.  
  
"Sure. It's been a while since I've seen little AJ and Jimmy." Mac said, smiling. Then suddenly she realized what day it was tomorrow. It was the five-year anniversary of Harm's death. Harriet and Bud must have remembered, and didn't want her to be alone. "Thank you Harriet." She said, her eyes showing her sincerity.  
  
"No problem Ma'am." The Lt. Smiled and stood up. "I'll let you get back to your work Ma'am." She smiled and opened the door.  
  
"Bye Harriet." Mac smiled, as her friend closed the door. Mac's thoughts drifted back to the men that she had seen. Something in her gut had told her that they were the same man, though she didn't know why she thought this. She gazed down at the picture of her and Harm on their wedding day. There was something so hauntingly familiar about this mystery man. But it wasn't possible . . .was it? She traced Harm's smiling face in the picture. "I miss you so much Harm." She whispered brokenly.  
  
Author's Notes: I just wanted to thank everybody for their great reviews! Your compliments and encouragement mean a lot to me! And virtual brownie points to anyone who figures out who the mystery man is! Some replies to reviews now . . .  
  
Aserene: A2+B2=C2! *grins * Thanks!  
  
Angela: I'm getting to making it okay, I still promise!  
  
Maaike: You'll see . . .  
  
KJFlygirl87: Thank you! Hope you like this one as much.  
  
Jamie: Thank you! I hope you keep reading!  
  
Lauren: Wow! Fabulous, great, and creative? I'm flattered! I hope that this chapter is up to those standards! *grins *  
  
Tracy: Wow, I've never had gut wrenching before! Thanks very much!  
  
NavyCB: Wow! Thank you so much, I'm very flattered! I hope that this one is just as good. I appreciate your reviews very much!  
  
Bekki: Yes, my beta is brilliant! I should give everyone her name, and tell them to go read her fics! *grins and in a stage whisper says 'My beta's name is Bekki, go read her fics!' *  
  
Again, thank you to everyone who has reviewed, I am so sorry if I missed you! Now keep those reviews coming, I have the next chapter all ready to go . . . 


	3. It Was Him, Wasn't It?

I Miss Him Chapter 3  
  
Mac and Leigh were shopping for Christmas presents at the mall with Jen (Coates) and Harriet. It was a fun girl's day out, something that Mac had been longing for, for quite some time. They had stopped for lunch at the food court, taking a break from all the shopping.  
  
They were engaged in some serious girl talk, when suddenly Leigh jumped up from her seat. "Daddy!" She shouted, and began jumping up and down. Mac looked at her little girl curiously. Her whole childhood, Mac had made sure that she knew who her father was. He lived with them through stories, and pictures that were everywhere, so her father's face was a familiar one.  
  
Mac turned around to look over in the direction Leigh was pointing. She gasped as she saw a face that she had been dreaming about for five years. "Harm?" She whispered. As though he could hear her, the man turned around, and his eyes locked with Mac's for a split second. He turned away, and began walking briskly towards the exit.  
  
Mac jumped up and began chasing him, oblivious to her friend's calls. "Harm, no don't leave me!" She whispered frantically. "HARM!" She shouted out into the thick crowd, hoping he could hear her. She burst through the doors, and looked around wildly for the man she loved. But he was no where in sight.  
  
She fell to the nearest bench, and began to cry, and that's how Jen, Harriet, and Leigh found her. Leigh crawled into her mother's lap, seeking out what she knew to be true. "It was Daddy, wasn't it?" She asked quietly.  
  
Mac nodded, still crying silent tears. Harriet and Jen looked at each other disbelieving. "Mac are you sure? With the anniversary of his. . ." Even now, five years later it was still hard to say. "Passing, so close, are you sure that you didn't just imagine him?"  
  
"Leigh saw him! I saw him too, he looked straight at me!" Mac was close to hysteria now. What if her love was still alive? The mission was classified, and they never did get a body back. Mac finally knew how Harm felt about his dad, she knew that there would be no real closure until they found his body. "Harriet, Jen, what if he's still alive?" She asked quietly, finally having calmed down.  
  
The two women just looked at their friend, not sure what to say. Mac clung to her daughter as she continued to cry.  
  
Outside . . .  
  
She had seen him. The disbelief in her eyes was enough to break his heart, and the pain in her voice would haunt him for years. He decided that it was time to make his appearance. He started the car and headed to the apartment North of Union Station.  
  
When Mac finally got home she was startled to see all the lights on in her apartment. She cautiously got Leigh out of the car sear and headed upstairs. She got out her keys, prepared to use them as a weapon after she got in the door.  
  
She flung open the door, keeping her daughter behind her, and assumed a fighting position. But all fight left her body when she saw the man sitting on the couch. She didn't believe it! She has had this dream so many times in the past five years, that it seemed like déjà vu.  
  
"Harm?"  
  
Author's Notes: I know that this was a really short chapter, but I think that's a pretty good place to leave off, don't you? *grins evilly * Anyways, please review, and tell me what you think! If anybody has any suggestions as to what direction they want to see the story go in, please feel free to tell me your ideas! A huge thanks to Bekki for being my beta and buddy! Also, Nighthawk, I hope that you're doing okay in your new house! 


	4. After Five Years

From Chapter 3 . . .  
  
She flung open the door, keeping her daughter behind her, and assumed a fighting position. But all fight left her body when she saw the man sitting on the couch. She didn't believe it! She has had this dream so many times in the past five years, that it seemed like déjà vu.  
  
"Harm?"  
  
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Harm smiled softly, as he stood up from the couch. "I've missed you so much Sarah." He said quietly. He walked towards her quickly, and she found herself wrapped in his loving and protective arms.  
  
She began crying silently, wetting his black shirt. "Is it really you?" She whispered, clinging to the front of his shirt, afraid that if she let go, he would float away. Harm kissed the top of her head as he smiled.  
  
"It's really me Sarah."  
  
"I love you Harm. I thought, I mean, I was told . . ." She trailed off, as all her words were lost when she looked up into his eyes.  
  
"I know what you were told Sarah. And I am so sorry that you had to go through that. It's a long story, one that I don't feel like telling right now." He murmured into her hair, kissing her forehead.  
  
"Daddy?" A timid whisper came from below the happily reunited couple. They broke apart, and looked down at the little girl. "Is that Daddy, Mommy?" She asked innocently.  
  
Mac smiled, and laughed softly. She bent down and picked up her daughter. "Yes baby, this is your Daddy." She turned Leigh towards Harm, love shining in her eyes. "Harm, this is our daughter, Leigh Harmony Rabb."  
  
"Hi Daddy." The little girl said shyly. She reached her arms out to him, and he quickly took her.  
  
He hugged her tightly, as he whispered, "Hi sweetheart." Leigh looked up, and smiled brightly. "I knew that you would come back Daddy." He chuckled as he set her down.  
  
"You wouldn't believe how good it feels to hold you in my arms again Sarah." Harm said, as he gathered Mac into his arms again.  
  
"Oh I think that I have a pretty good idea Harm." She whispered, as she gently kissed him. The love and passion in this sweet kiss almost made up for the past five years. She moaned softly as his tongue invaded her mouth. Her arms moved up, going around his neck, pulling him closer to her. Slowly she pulled away.  
  
"G-rated Flyboy, our daughter's watching." She said smiling as she rested her forehead against his. He returned the smile, and reluctantly released Mac. Mac looked back and forth between her husband and her daughter. She smiled as she saw Harm pick up Leigh and swing her around the room. They were going to be okay.  
  
A few hours later . . .  
  
Leigh had just been put to bed, and Harm and Mac were sitting on the couch, just enjoying each other's presence. "I can't believe that you're here. I've missed you so much." Mac said quietly. "Are you going to tell me what happened?" She asked.  
  
"A long story, for some other time." Harm whispered, his warm breath ruffling her hair. He gently squeezed her waist, and pulled her closer to him. "I just want to enjoy being here with you, for now." She nodded understanding completely.  
  
"We should probably tell everyone that you're alive. I don't think that the Admiral will appreciate it much if Harriet faints when you walk into the bullpen." Mac said smiling. Harm chuckled, just imagining what the bullpen would look like if he returned without telling anyone he was alive.  
  
"Oh but Sarah, just think how much fun it will be!" He said jokingly. She looked up lovingly at him, and gently kissed him. The kiss quickly turned passionate, and their bodies molded together.  
  
"We don't have to keep it G-rated anymore Ninja Girl." Harm whispered, his hands running up and down Mac's back. She shivered, it had been so long since she had felt his touch. She nodded, and they made their way to their bedroom.  
  
The next morning . . .  
  
Mac awoke to the smell of brewing coffee and cooking bacon. She smiled, and realized how lucky she was. This wasn't a dream, she had her husband back. Her life was perfect. She got up and threw on a robe, eager to greet Harm.  
  
"Hey Flyboy." She murmured, sneaking up behind him, and wrapping her arms around his waist. He turned around, and smiled down at her.  
  
"Well hello there Marine." He said, leaning down to kiss her on the cheek. She looked up and smiled at him, lightly pinching him on the cheek. "Hey what was that for?" He asked playfully.  
  
"Just wanting to make sure that you're real." She smiled playfully, but then felt tears begin to form. She didn't know what was wrong, she shouldn't be crying, she was happy. She turned away from Harm, trying to hide her tears from him, not wanting him to worry.  
  
"Sarah, what's up? What's the matter?" Harm asked, concerned for his wife. She shook her head, pretending that she was fine. "Sarah, I've known you too long, I can tell when you're upset. What's wrong sweetheart?"  
  
She turned back to him, and didn't bother wiping away her tears. "I'm on an emotional roller coaster Harm. I've thought for five years that you were dead. It's torn me up inside Harm." She bit her lip as she bid the tears not to continue to fall. "I'm ecstatic that you're home, but . . . I don't know, I'm just really emotional right now." She couldn't help it as she burst into tears. "I don't know what's wrong with me." She whispered, as Harm gathered her up in his arms.  
  
"Sarah, I understand completely, you have the right to be confused." Harm whispered into her hair, his hands running up and down her back comfortingly. "This is why I didn't want you to find this out yet, I was worried about what it would do to you."  
  
She looked up at him. "Why didn't you come to me earlier Harm? That whole year, you wouldn't believe how many times I woke up, and rolled over to kiss you good morning, and you weren't there. I've needed you so badly Harm." She whispered.  
  
"I know baby, I realize that now, but that whole year, it wasn't safe for me to come back. In fact, it wasn't safe for me to come back up until a few months ago." Harm murmured comfortingly to his wife.  
  
She looked up, and smiled. "I understand Harm. I know that you would have come back to me sooner if you could." Her eyes then became clouded with question. "Where were you?"  
  
Harm opened his mouth about to answer that, when Leigh came bounding into the room. "Morning Mommy, Daddy!" Leigh came to stand next to Harm, reaching her arms up to him. He smiled, and picked her up, hugged him tightly to his chest.  
  
"How are you doing Leigh?" He asked, a huge Flyboy smile on his face.  
  
"Fine Sir!" She said; looking as serious as a five year old in purple unicorn pajamas can look. Harm laughed.  
  
"I see that your Mommy has been getting you ready for the military." Leigh nodded and smiled as she looked over at her mother.  
  
"Can we go see Uncle Bud and Aunt Harriet today? I wanna play with Jimmy!" Leigh asked excitedly.  
  
Mac smiled and nodded. "In fact sweetie, we were thinking about having everybody over, Uncle Bud and Aunt Harriet, Uncle Sturgis, Jen, and Uncle AJ. (A/N: I am currently mad at Meredith, so she will not be in this story.) Does that sound okay sweetheart?" The little girl nodded excitedly, and ran off to her room, eager to see her parent's close friends, the people she knew as her family.  
  
Mac looked at Harm to see what his reaction would be. She smiled, when she saw the look of pure joy on his face. She knew that everything would work out for the best, that her husband was finally home to stay.  
  
Author's Notes: This was kinda a filler chapter, so it wasn't very good. But I am in the process of writing chapter 5, and hopefully will have it done soon. Thanks for waiting so long; I hope that you're still enjoying the story. 


	5. What Happened?

I Miss Him Chapter 5

Author's Notes: Okay, this story is slow moving, because I post one chapter before I have the next ready. But YAY! Rejoice, because you find out what happens with Harm in this chapter! So go on, read!

Mac was busying herself, running about the apartment playing hostess. Although she found it very difficult to keep out of the bedroom, where Harm was hiding for the time being, but they had been apart for five years, just a few more minutes wouldn't kill her.

They had decided to let everyone know at once, and were just waiting until everyone was settled. Mac smiled as she surveyed the room. Leigh and Jimmy were off playing in a corner, AJ standing close, keeping watch just like a good big brother should. AJ, Bud, and Sturgis were nearby, talking about a case, she assumed. Harriet and Jen were sitting on the couch, swapping the latest office gossip. Mac laughed quietly as she thought about the bomb that she and Harm were about to drop.

She finally couldn't resist the temptation any longer, and snuck into their bedroom. She shut the door quietly, and smiled as Harm looked up. "You ready?" She asked him quietly, and he got up and wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Mmm, five more minutes." He murmured against her lips. She smiled as he kissed her soundly. As much as she wanted to stay here forever, she figured that since she was the host of this impromptu party that the lack of her presence would soon be noticed.

"Harm." She whispered, breaking away from the caress of his lips. "We should make that announcement now." He nodded, and released her.

She smiled, and straightened her skirt, looking quickly in the mirror to make sure that she looked okay. "Wait in here until I open the door, okay?" He shook his head, letting her know he understood, and sat back down on the bed.

Mac stepped out into the family room, and whistled. She waited until everyone had settled down, and then began speaking. Leigh wandered over to her mother, knowing what was coming next, they had talked about it right before everyone had come over. "Thank you all for coming, it really means a lot to me and Leigh." Mac took a deep breath and smiled nervously. "There's a reason that we called you all over here today. I just found out something . . . something that has bothered me for the past five years."

She looked over at Harriet and Jen, and smiled. "I know that some of you have been worried recently. But I assure you, I'm not going crazy." Mac smiled, knowing that she and Harm had gone over this before, but it still made her nervous. "You all might want to sit down for this part." She said quietly.

She waited patiently as everyone scrambled to find a seat. When everyone was settled, she started up again. "Harm wasn't killed in action, on a classified mission. I still don't know how it's possible, all I know is.....he's here now." She opened the door, and Harm came out.

Gasps were heard all around the room. Harriet and Jen began crying, while the men all stood there in shock. Bud was the first to speak up. "Is that really you Sir?" He asked timidly.

Harm smiled, and was about to reply, until he felt someone at his feet. An eight year old AJ Roberts stood close by, looking up at Harm. He had very vague memories of this man, he knew him mostly through pictures and stories. "Uncle Harm?" He asked.

Harm got down on one knee so that he was closer to eye level with the boy. "How are you AJ? Do you remember me?" He asked.

The little boy shrugged. "A little." He propelled himself into Harm's arms. "I'm glad you're back. Auntie Mac was sad while you were gone." He told him matter of factly.

"I know. But I don't plan on ever leaving again." He said. Suddenly, everyone was capable of movement. As soon as Harm let go of AJ, he was surrounded by his friends. He tried to answer everyone's questions, but soon it became too much, and he gave up. He looked over to Mac, who was just smiling, and he smiled back.

Mac smiled at the scene that was taking place. Her husband looked so happy to be home, and to be around the people that loved him. Everyone was bombarding him with questions, and many of them, she imagined that she didn't even know the answers to. She would still have to ask him about that.

Later that night . . .

Harm and Mac collapsed on their bed, thoroughly exhausted. They had just put Leigh to bed, which was good, considering that it looked like she was about to fall asleep standing up. Mac groaned, looking down at her clothes. "I don't want to get up and change my clothes."

Harm laughed as he leaned over, and gave her a small peck on the lips. "We don't have to. We can just sleep in our clothes right?" He whispered, taking her into his arms. She laughed as she snuggled into his arms.

"I'm starting to think that that's not such a bad idea Flyboy." She said, catching his lips with hers again. Their tongues dueled frantically for a moment, and they let themselves get swept up in their passion. Mac broke it off after a few moments, after the burning in her lungs reminded her to breathe. She grinned seductively, playing with the buttons on his shirt. "I think that I'm beginning to find more energy, Sailor."

"That's too bad, because I'm still exhausted." Harm said grinning. Mac playfully glared at him, slapping his arm, and got up off the bed.

"You're a tease Harmon Rabb. I'm gonna go change and wash my face. I'll be back in a minute." Mac said, walking towards the bathroom.

When she came back into the room, Harm was lying on the bed in his boxers. He turned and smiled at her, and got under the covers, holding them up invitingly for her. She smiled and slipped underneath the covers, and turned off the lamp on their bedside table. She rolled over to him, and placed a gentle arm on his chest. "Harm?" She whispered.

He looked down at his wife, and lightly stroked her cheek. "Yes Sarah?"

She looked up at him, the moonlight illuminating his face. "Are you going to tell me what happened? Where you were all these years? I don't want to bring up bad memories that I'm sure you have but…..I just want to know why I didn't have my husband for five years, and why your little girl didn't get to know her daddy for the first years of her life." She propped herself up with one hand, her elbow resting on the pillow below her. "I've wondered for five years Harm, and know I just want to know why."

Harm regarded her carefully, brushing the tears that had fallen, off of her cheek. "Did I ever tell you about my time in China?" He asked quietly, focusing on some unseen thing on the wall behind her.

"When you were with Admiral Boone? Well yeah of course you….." The look in Harm's eyes told her that this wasn't the time that he was talking about. "What time in China?"

"It was 1995…..I was supposed to go sailing with this woman that I had an on again, off again thing with. She didn't show, so I decided to go by myself. At the time, I was helping out with some issues that China and Taiwan were having with an island. Some Chinese officials captured me and held me captive. They played all sorts of mind games, and pumped me full of drugs. They made me believe that my father was in the cell below me, and at one point they tried to convince me that I had been in a coma for several months." Harm shuddered slightly, and Mac leaned over him, trying to protect her husband from the evils of the world.

"You don't have to go on if it's too much for you." She murmured, studying his face intently. Harm shook his head, determined to tell her what had happened to him.

"The woman who was in charge of my interrogation was named Captain Lishi. She She was sent off to jail, and apparently she just got out. She wanted revenge for me ruining her career and…she found out where I was, for that assignment that Webb sent me on. She pulled a few strings, and got me to China, where I was supposed to meet with an American serviceman being charged with….something, I don't eve remember anymore. She kidnapped me. Made it look like I was dead, so that no one would come looking for me.' Mac's heart was breaking for Harm. His voice and his face were so full of pain, she was overwhelmed with the urge to just make it all go away, to take his pain away.

"For the past five years she's held me captive. Made me think all sorts of things….at one point she made me think I was going crazy….and another time, she said that she had you in the cell next to me, and I heard screams, and….I knew that it was a trick Mac, but I thought…..it seemed so real." He said, breaking down. He began crying softly, and Mac just cradled him, rubbing his back and tried to sooth him. Her husband was a strong man, but even Superman couldn't come through this unscathed.

"We'll get through this together Harm. You'll be okay, and I'll be with you every step of the way." She murmured. She began crying too, taking her husband's pain and making it her own. They had been through so much, and she just wished that for once, that just for once, things could be simple, and good for them.

They fell asleep that night, clinging to each other desperately, needing to be reassured that the other was real.

Harm woke up when a sudden weight was on his chest. He opened his eyes slowly, and tried to figure out what was hindering his attempts at breathing. He smiled as the bright blue eyes of his daughter met his. The vulnerable and emotional man of the night before, was replaced with a much happier man, a man that was happy to be alive. "Good morning sweetheart."

He felt Mac stir next to him, and looked over briefly to her. "Looks like you woke your mom up munchkin." He turned back to her and smiled. "What do you want to do today Leigh?"

Mac smiled as she watched the scene in front of her. Harm was so at ease with Leigh, and vice versa, it was like he had been there the entire time. "Can we go to the park?" Leigh asked. She looked over at Mac. "Please mommy?"

Harm looked at her with pleading eyes. "Yeah, can we mommy?" He asked innocently. He shot her a flyboy grin, and Mac couldn't help but laugh.

"I guess that I'm outnumbered, huh?" She said, grinning. Both Harm and Leigh nodded, and she laughed. "Since I don't have that much of a choice, sure we can go to the park. Why don't you go get dressed Leigh, and Daddy and I will go fix some breakfast, okay?"

Their little girl nodded, and hopped off her father. She bounded out of the room, and at the doorway, turned back and blew them both kisses, and then ran down the steps towards her room. They laughed at their little girl's antics. Harm turned to Mac, and slowly kissed her good morning.

When they broke apart a few minutes later, Mac looked up at him, a soft smile gracing her face. "I forgot how good that feels." She murmured, carefully stretching out. She settled back down, and lightly kissed Harm again. "Are you going to be okay?" She asked him quietly.

Harm nodded, trying to push aside the memories that haunted him. "I think so. With you and Leigh here, things are easier to deal with." He said quietly, telling her the truth.

She nodded, and reluctantly rolled out of bed. "C;mon, up and at 'em Sailor. Your daughter and your wife are expecting breakfast." She said grinning, as she threw on her robe.

Harm groaned playfully. "I see that something's haven't changed." He said, catching her around the waist. Mac laughed as he began nibbling at her neck. "You're still insatiable."

Mac turned around and gave him a light kiss. "That's right Sailor. Now get your six out there….we're all hungry." Mac giggled as Harm feigned an exasperated look, and let go of her.

"Fine, I get the message Marine." Mac laughed as she headed into the bathroom, planning on taking a shower and then joining Leigh and Harm in a few minutes.

A few minutes later….

As Mac walked out of the bathroom, she was delighted to hear the sound of laughter coming from the kitchen. She peeked her head out the door, and saw her daughter sitting on the counter, with Harm moving around the kitchen. It appeared as if he was making pancakes, and while he was at it, singing at the top of his lungs. Their little girl giggling as he came up to her, and dabbed a bit of flour on her nose. Mac smiled, and continued looking at the scene.

Harm seemed to sense her eyes, and looked up. He shot her a Flyboy smile, and picked up the little girl on the counter dramatically. She giggled again, and immediately settled into his arms. "Come on Mac! You're missing all the fun!" He looked down at their little girl, and jiggled her a bit.

"Yeah Mommy! Daddy's been singing and makin' pancakes for us!" Leigh said excitedly. She then scrunched up her face. "But I thought that you said that Daddy sang good….."

The adults laughed, and Mac came out of the bedroom. "Well sweetheart, he usually does." She gave her daughter a small peck on the cheek. "He must just be a little off today." She said smiling, giving her husband a small peck too. "So after breakfast today, do you want to see if Jimmy can go with you to the park?"

Leigh nodded excitedly. "Yeah, that sounds great!"

Mac smiled as she watched her husband and daughter interact more. 'Yeah it does.' She thought to herself.

Author's Notes: Okay, I realize that I'm taking some creative liberty, because I guess that Lishi actually died. I haven't seen 'The Prisoner' in a while, and I couldn't remember. But I hope that you liked the chapter, I'm going to deal with everything a little more in future chapters. Please review and tell me what you thought! Oh, and by the way, I chose Lishi, because I didn't want to be typical and pick Palmer or Coster. I wanted someone really twisted, but someone unexpected….and I found all those qualities in Captain Lishi! :P


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